Mee Goreng

Once upon a time, the cabinet underneath the stove was empty. And the owners didn't even bother having a gas canister installed. Not even six whole months after they moved in. Only the microwave had been getting some action.

With its womb empty, the stove suffered from a feeling of emptiness and general malaise.

But because one of the owners suffered from the combination of
1) a craving for mee goreng and
2) no food stalls within walking distance nearby;

They decided to order a gas canister. Now the stove was united with its other half and finally felt complete.

Then the stove found out that its main user is The Failed Chef, and who knows what horrors she may whip up?

And so, the stove lived Unhappily. Ever. After.

The end.

Ok, no. Not really. Well it's true that the stove might be unhappy but this is not the end of the post. We still have the matter of mee goreng to get through.

My go-to ‘let’s just throw in things together with hope and courage and expect something edible to emerge’ dish was spaghetti with prego sauce fried in dried chilli paste and chilli padi with tomato chunks. This may look like mee goreng but tastes nothing like it. And I want my mee goreng, damn it!

The thing I have started to realise about Asian dishes is the large amount of small quantities of ingredients called for, which typically scares me into surrender. So I chose this mee goreng recipe by Carina as it seemed manageable for a start.

Mee Goreng

2 cups fresh Chinese egg noodles
2 tbs chili sauce, or more to taste
1 tsp dark soy sauce
1 tsp sugar
1/4 tsp salt
3 tbs oyster sauce
3 tbs ketchup
2 tbs vegetable or canola oil
2 eggs
1 tsp minced garlic
1/2 cup shredded cabbage
1/4 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 lb boneless chicken breast, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (or leftover shredded cooked chicken)
1/4 tsp white pepper
2 tbs scallions, sliced
2 tbs fried shallots

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook the noodles for 30 seconds, drain, and rinse with cold water. Set aside.
2. In a small bowl combine chili sauce, dark soy, sugar, salt, oyster sauce and ketchup. Set aside.
3. In a large wok preheated over high heat, add oil.
4. Crack the eggs into the wok, stir vigorously until the eggs are lightly scrambled and just set, then add the garlic, noodles, cabbage, shrimp, chicken, and water.
5. Stir-fry continuously until noodles are cooked, 3-5 minutes (depending on the heat of your wok), making sure the chicken and shrimp are cooked.
6. Add chili sauce mixture,and keep stirring until well combined.
7. The noodles should begin to get a bit drier with liquid left in the bottom of the wok.
8. Add white pepper, stir to combine, and turn off flame.
9. Garnish with scallions and fried shallots.

What would The Failed Chef do next time?

• I think I haven't gotten the hang of cooking in a wok with high heat so I didn't think the sauce and the noodles were well combined even when I tossed and stirred it extensively. They are more like acquaintances than married, you know?
• I also left out shao hsing wine and some other ingredients so that might have affected how the dish turned out

Aspirational recipes:

• Wet mee goreng