Flour Frosting

Have you ever heard these reassuring words? Such as:

"Three is a magic number" or

"Third time lucky"?

These are all sweet and well-meaning words.

They are also...

Lies! A pack of damn lies, man!

These words do not apply to frosting, as articulated in the Frosting Code of Conduct.

Presenting my case, if I may -

Exhibit A: The Failed Buttercream Frosting.

Exhibit B: The Failed Cream Cheese Frosting.

And &$#*-ing thirdly, 

Exhibit C: The Failed Flour Frosting.

But the truth - and the truth will set you free - is that this frosting is de-li-cious! That's a sign of how potent a frosting is - that it is delicious even when it fails. See, it says so here on page 89 under Frosting Code of Conduct.

So don't let my failed attempt stop you from trying it. Here's the recipe from MissyDew of Tasty Kitchen.

By the way, joining the rest of you in the 21st century, I am now making frosting on a machine, hooray!

Flour Frosting

5 tbs flour
1 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup butter
1 cup fine grain or caster sugar

1. Add milk into a small saucepan.
2. Whisk flour into milk and heat. Do not stop stirring until it thickens. When will it start to thicken? For me, it happens at the point when I was daydreaming about attaining nirvana, after I have moved on from ruminating about where my missing hair band might be. Results vary.
3. Remove from heat and let it cool to room temperature.
4. When cool, stir in vanilla extract.
5. Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 7-8 minutes. 
6. Then add the completely cooled milk/flour/vanilla mixture and 'beat the living daylights out of it'. MissyDew also says that  'if it looks separated, you haven’t beaten it enough!'

I confess to being very nervous about this. I am no advocate of violence.

But because I'm highly impressionable, I 'beat the living daylights out of it'. On high for 15 minutes. And this is what I get.

Which is what you don't want to get. You do not want frosting that separates.

Not least because separated, failed frosting does not spread nicely on a cake. Because failed frosting can only do what they are supposed to do. Which is to not spread nicely. This is found in Article 17.4 of Frosting Code of Conduct, just so you know.

You should instead be getting a frosting that resembles whipped cream.

And now we all know that violence is not the answer. Add that to your Code of Conduct!

What would the Failed Chef do next time?

• Make the flour mixture hours in advance (maybe 4-5 hrs) and let it completely cool. Or put the saucepan on ice like MissyDew says or put in for 20-30 seconds in the freezer, take it out, stir and repeat this process 2-3 times until it cools to room temperature as what phatbaker advises.
• Probably not to beat it for so long. Next time perhaps less than 3 minutes, or even less than a minute, on medium high?