Kek Tak Jadi

When I was younger, I remember going to an aunt’s house for Hari Raya and she served this nano-cake, barely 2 centimeters in diameter, topped with cream – but boy, it was the most heavenly 2 centimeters of cake I have ever popped into my mouth.

I popped one after another without restraint and I vaguely recall a dirty look she shot me. Or perhaps it was more a look of abject despair as she looked at her dwindling stock of nano-cakes as they disappeared down my throat. I couldn't really see her face that well; my face was stuffed with cakes.

Fast forward more than a decade later, and I wanted to recreate that nano-cake in my kitchen.

Because I didn’t know how to do a cake from scratch, I bought the corn muffin mix (I have no idea why I didn’t just get a cake instead of a corn muffin mix), pretty paper baking cases, Pillbury’s cream cheese frosting and Hundreds-and-Thousands sprinkles for toppings.

When the nano-cakes were baked, I proceeded to put the cream cheese frosting and sprinkles on top.

First baking experiment: a success!

Or so I thought.

Observe the timeline of its demise. The next day when I checked the nano-cakes, the colour of the sprinkles had bled onto the frosting. A week later, I spied organic matter starting to claim the nano-cake as their turf. Mould have started cohabiting with my nano-cakes.

This did not register well with my Nano-cake Code of Conduct. I was forced to exile my first baking experiment to the dustbin.

The day after I baked the nano-cake (this was way before mould started conquering the cake - I was not trying to kill anyone here, okay?), I gave some to my aunt. She asked, “So what is this cake you were trying to make?”

Notice the operative phrase, “trying to make”?

My answer was swift and sure. Oh, I know the name of the cake. I know exactly what it’s called. Oh yes, I can tell you what is the name of this cake I was trying to make.

I said, “It’s Cake...Tak Jadi*.”

And so The Failed Chef is born.

*In Singapore-speak, it means “cannot-make-it-cake” or “failed” cake.